When observing an anxious person the philosopher Epictetus often asked ‘what is it that they want?’ believing that if “a person wasn’t wanting something outside of their control why would they be stricken by anxiety?”

Wanting things to go well in life is natural. However, needing things to go a certain way is not. This is why Epictetus said, “Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish for things to happen as they are: then you will be happy”. Put simply, it’s an acceptance of a circumstance or situation beyond your control.

Avoidance is typically how we cope with anxiety. When the first pangs of uncertainty we do what we can to make the feelings go away. Yet, this shortcut often misses one of the unnoticed benefits of anxiety. It can push us to take action. Professor and clinical psychologist Tracy Dennis-Tiwary said, “Anxiety is telling us that we care about the future and want it to turn out a certain way. In fact, feeling anxious actually releases dopamine, which motivates us to pursue rewards and take action to bring about the future we want.” 

Knowing how little we control is there much to be anxious about? There certainly is if we have fooled ourselves into believing that we possess some superpower that controls outside events. Anxiety is all about projecting ourselves into the future- a future we do not know.

Roman Emperors had much to be anxious about. Potential coups, untrustworthy generals, a scheming senate, wars, and occasional plagues. Taking note of his struggles with anxiety Emperor Marcus Aurelius wrote ““Today I escaped anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions—not outside”. 

As we approach the holidays, family obligations, financial challenges, and generating more business remember that these situations will always be with us. It’s what we do with them that matters most. Do we leverage anxiety to take action or do we let it live inside of us?