Managing our expectations

What do you expect when you first roll out of bed in the morning? What kind of day are you hoping to have? Often our hope is to have a good day free of the stressors that we seek to avoid. But is such a mindset realistic or healthy? 

Most often it’s not. When life doesn’t meet our expectations we are prone to become angry, bitter, or sad. We act surprised that such a thing would happen despite having experienced the same disappointments hundreds if not thousands of times. 

When we find ourselves frustrated it’s easy to point outward placing blame on other people or outside events. It’s a strange mindset that leaves us vulnerable and unprepared. If you want to live in a perpetual state of frustration, expect the world to bend to your will. I’ll shoot straight with you. For decades I struggled with unrealistic expectations and the stress that followed.

The Emperor Marcus Aurelius had to remind himself of this each day. “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly.”

But what does reality tell us? The world doesn’t care what our expectations are, it simply doles out its daily dose of reality. After all, we’re not surprised when an apple tree produces apples. With that in mind here’s a better path for increased happiness and peace of mind.

Expect the unexpected. Anticipate that you’ll likely encounter a few bumps in the road and therefore you’ll not be surprised when the unexpected happens.

See the world as it is. Focus on what’s in your control and leave the rest to fate.

Which brings us to our response-ability. We can control how we respond to disappointment. The battle is inside of us, not with the universe or circumstances.

Set realistic expectations. Hope for the best but anticipate that you may face some unpleasant circumstances.

So the next time you encounter a loan condition, a short-to-close loan, a cranky homeowner, or a disinterested financial advisor you’re prepared and ready to practice response-ability.