The Country of Surprise: New questions to ask

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Understanding Unexpected Later Life Shifts

It’s one thing to talk about aging looking forward; quite another to view it from within that mature skin. In How Did I Get to Be 70 When I’m 35 Inside? 70-year-old Linda Douty offers a delightful “new paradigm” roadmap for conscious aging, focusing on the landscape of surprise in seven stages: Surprises of the Self, Body, Relationships, and the Sacred; to Surprising Challenges, Gifts, and Wisdom.

The more than fifty elders she interviewed pulled no punches, yet their honesty conveys humor and acceptance, even joy, as people embrace the freedom to finally express the totality of who they are, without apology or restraint.

Understanding Reverse Mortgage Clients

Since many reverse mortgage professionals may be closer to 35 than to 70, Douty’s book offers a useful peek inside your prospects’ minds.

I especially enjoyed her take on how, as we age, we tend to experience weight gain and memory loss — along with a shrewd way to ameliorate this change: “Our culture seems much more obsessed with what we feed our bodies than what we feed our minds. How many calories? How much fiber? But our minds take ‘bites’ from a huge buffet of offerings — violent movies, TV sitcoms, trashy novels, idle gossip — all junk food for the brain. To retain any measure of hope and optimism, we must become aware of our own complicity in this junk-food diet.”

Then there’s the difference between knowledge and wisdom. One senior gentleman told her with a grin, “Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”

To open a deeper dialogue with your reverse mortgage prospects, consider adapting one or more of Douty’s inquiries. The seniors you meet with will likely be happily surprised that their reverse mortgage professional is taking such a dedicated interest in their lives. Douty’s questions include:

1. What has surprised you most about aging?
2. What have you discovered about yourself that you didn’t know before?
3. How would you complete the sentence, “I’ve always wanted to …”
4. What has been your greatest challenge in growing older?
5. Your greatest joy?
6. How old do you feel inside?

Sooner or later, if we’re fortunate enough, we’ll all become residents in the country of surprise. This is your invitation to visit, and return with wisdom gained.

How to Build Trust Part 2: Trust and the Aging Process

The process of aging makes one more vulnerable when it comes to trust

While it’s true that people don’t change dramatically just because they grow older (see Marketing to the Mature Homeowner/Part 1), there is one area in which aging makes us more vulnerable: trust.

As people age and watch spouses, friends and family members die, the lyrics from The Cure’s tune, Trust, may express how they feel: There is no one left in the world that I can hold onto / There is really no one left at all. Lack of a support system can and does affect older adults psychologically.
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The response to these transitions can either be fear, in which seniors become less confident in people overall, or outreach, where, in their desire to connect, they misguidedly place their faith in everyone from the caller who tells them they’ve just won a sweepstakes, to the salesperson who suggests a risky investment.

Because such unscrupulous individuals and businesses often prey on older adults’ loneliness or hope, it behooves reverse mortgage professionals to understand the concerns unique to this cohort group.

To build a strong relationship with older reverse mortgage prospects:

  • Allow plenty of time to get acquainted. Regardless of whether they seem secure or anxious, many mature adults (particularly “older” seniors, 75+) love having a new audience for their stories, especially those revolving around something as precious as their lifelong home;
  • Develop a strong sense of their personal situation. Is a reverse mortgage a prudent move for them — or are they simply enjoying the regular contact visiting with you offers, even if this takes place over the phone?
  • Go slowly. In our frenetic world, it’s easy to forget that the spryest senior will likely operate at a somewhat slower pace than you do. Be willing to explain information more than once, and in different ways, until it’s clear your prospect comprehends all the specifics.
  • Reach out. Going the extra mile might be a cliché, but doing so never is. If a senior turns out to be an excellent reverse mortgage prospect in every way, yet clearly thrives under your attention, reach out: make a home visit if possible, bring a small gift, find a referral for another need they mention. These demonstrations of caring will not only help seal the deal; your kindness also boosts your client’s quality of life.

Reverse Mortgage Relationships with Seniors

Cookie-Baking Granny … Or Purple-haired Artist? Marketing to the Mature Home Owner / Part 3

In the Leave It to Beaver and My Three Sons era, grandmas wore aprons, baked mouth-watering cookies, and indulged their grandchildren in ways mom and dad would not. Grandpa might have been a bit gruff, but his grandchildren knew his arthritis was acting up, and he loved them even if he couldn’t run and toss a ball like dad. Had reverse mortgages existed back then, our grandparents probably wouldn’t have known what to do with them.

Welcome to the third millennium. Lillian, age 83, sports fuchsia-streaked hair and a dry wit. After lovingly nursing her husband through a long illness, followed by a grieving period, she’s now so busy she doesn’t have a lot of time to chat.

She’s creating charcoal portraits of the hospice staff that cared for her beloved during his final weeks. (Lillian only discovered her artistic talent at 70, when she enrolled with her daughter in an art class). She also tutors several high school students, and participates in a discussion group at the local college. She often eats meals out because she hasn’t time to shop, cook, and keep up with all her activities. Fortunately, she has the financial freedom to enjoy her unorthodox lifestyle, unfettered my monetary concerns.

Lillian is by no means unusual among today’s dynamic elders. (See previous post, Marketing to the Mature Home Owner / Part 2 . Though some seniors may still live as our grandparents did fifty years ago, many more are coming into their own late in life, taking up hobbies they’ve just discovered, like Lillian, or those laid aside while raising a family and working long hours. The calendar may call them “old,” but they’re still giving younger folks a run for their money, pun intended.

The best way to reach these reverse mortgage prospects? Remember that people don’t usually change dramatically just because they age; they simply become more of who they’ve always been. So in marketing reverse mortgages to 70-plus homeowners, appeal to their independence and interests, engage their intelligence, and you’ll be rewarded with a concomitant interest in reverse mortgages — and some wonderfully unique new clients.

 

Solutions for borrowers to age in place. Part 3

How Reverse Mortgages Can Help SeniorsHow Reverse Mortgages Can Help Seniors Age In Place, Part 3

Each year, more than 22,000 agencies nationwide provide home care services to over two million people, and as the population ages, these numbers will continue to grow.

Like the senior described in How Reverse Mortgages Can Help Seniors Age In Place/Part 2, who was able to return home after a serious accident because she hired a live-in attendant, a helping hand may be the deciding factor in whether a senior is able to age in place — and thus, whether they’re a reverse mortgage lead.

It’s helpful for reverse mortgage professionals to know what care is available, so you can suggest these options to seniors (or their loved ones) to help them remain at home as they age.

Here are 7 services that can make it easier to age in place:

  • Homemaker Services – Help with household maintenance: cooking, light cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, and other household tasks.
  • Personal Care – Assistance with a variety of daily living activities such as bathing, dressing, grooming and eating.
  • Companion – From daily telephone calls from a “buddy,” to regular friendly visits.
  • Health Care – Skilled care that can include nursing visits, as well as speech, occupational, physical, or respiratory therapy.
  • Senior Centers – Daily, facility-based social programs in a community center setting. Transportation to and from the Center is sometimes provided.
  • Live-in Help – A full-time, live-in attendant may offer a combination of homemaker and personal care assistance, and other non-medical support services.
  • Support Groups – Support for issues about aging, peer companionship, illness-based and grief support, and other topics to help seniors experiencing life changes or specific challenges.

Aging in place is what many seniors desire and deserve. Knowing the range of service available to both enable them to remain at home, and to make a temporary or permanent move elsewhere should the need arise, you’ll be well equipped to respond to the concerns that crop up as seniors contemplate a reverse mortgage.