How to leap ahead and dispel the illusion of disappointment

 

Every four years we recalibrate our calendar to better match the solar year with an extra day tagged onto the shortest month- February. Yes, that’s one small step. Julius Caesar began the practice in 46 BC with the Julian calendar. Pope Gregory used the same practice in the calendar we use today- the Gregorian calendar.

If you thought gaining an hour in the fall was great how about the extra day we had yesterday? Seriously, beyond the silly leap year tradition each of us can make micro-changes. One of those changes is to remove the illusion of disappointment. Many feel that gnawing sense of disappointment when they review their New Year’s resolutions made just two months ago.

Whether it’s our personal goals, loan production, or life in general here are 6 ways you can remove the illusion of disappointment and take a small leap forward.

 

1. Understand that negative moods have a silver lining. They push us to be more attentive and examine facts that we otherwise ignore when we’re feeling cheerful.  Ask yourself “What should have happened here?” or “Why am I feeling disappointed about this?”. 

 

2. Seeing where you have fallen short harness disappointment harness that energy to decide what choices you’ll make differently in the future.  

 

3. Question your expectations. Were they realistic? Were they dependent on circumstances outside of your control? Were my expectations flexible to adapt to changing conditions?

 

4. Find the teachable moments. What can you learn from the disappointing experience? What would you do differently next time? How should I set expectations in the future?

5. Take inventory. What skills do you need to develop? What tools do you need that would be helpful? What support should I seek to improve?

6. Step away. When you’re feeling especially disappointed take a step back. Or even better, take a few thousand steps and take a walk. Give yourself the time and space to clear your head.

Disappointment is that reliable passenger that accompanies us in our sales endeavors. Knowing how to better leverage it can help us rebound, regroup, and find the small wins despite setbacks. Before you go be sure to thank our sponsor

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How to Flip the Script of Negative Self Talk

It’s time to lose the script. That self-defeating, highly critical voice in your head that sabotages us. The internal dialog that says “You can’t do that. You’re not cut out for it”, or “Everything is going wrong so why try?”.

The truth is at times we all screw up, lose our temper, or act selfishly- despite our best intentions. I certainly have

Here are four tips to lose that inner critic and get control of your inner dialog.

!. Watch your mental diet. Does what you watch upset you? I may very well if you’re a news junkie. Mindfully limit how much negative media you consume and you’ll likely find yourself more relaxed, positive, and fulfilled. Social media is a cesspool of negativity. Droves of people are just waiting to make a snide or rude comment or want to provoke you. Don’t engage.Take control.

2. Use silence to your advantage to monitor your thoughts. We drown out our thoughts with stimulation. We listen to music, a talk show, or an audible book in the car. That’s fine- but also try driving on your next errand or home in silence. Listen to your thoughts or inner dialog. It’s difficult to process our emotions or thoughts if we constantly expose ourselves to stimulation. Silence is indeed golden.

 

3. Rewire your mindset. Neuroplasticity. Yes, you can teach an old dog new tricks. Embracing and practicing new behaviors can actually rewire how our brain responds to stress, disappointment, or frustration. It’s all about recording over the ineffective and damaging tape that’s been playing in our heads for years, even decades.

4. Be your own best friend. This one is the hardest for me. If you’re friend messes something up do you berate them? Do we tell them what a fool they are? Of course not. Many times we are our own harshest critics. Does that help? Instead, try saying to yourself what you’d say to your best friend. “It’s okay, you’ll get it next time”, or “We all make mistakes”, are just a few of the phrases we can begin practicing saying to ourselves.

As we close consider the words of Pythagoras. “No man is free who cannot control himself.” Freedom begins and ends between our own two ears. We can improve. We can flip the script.

Finding the Balance of Flow

It’s said that Americans are a stubborn lot. I would venture to add that reverse mortgage professionals are even more so. Steadfast in the face of ever-changing market conditions. Resilient in the face of adversity. Hopeful for a better future. So give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back.

But there’s also a time to surrender- to submit to those forces over which we have no control. Forces such as interest rates, home values, and economy.

One person who embodies the balance of surrendering and yet without giving away his core values is Vice Admiral James Stockdale. As a POW captured by the Viet Cong Stockdale quickly learned what he had to accept and that part of him which would remain untouchable.

From his experience in captivity we have the Stockdale Paradox which states “You must maintain unwavering faith that you can and will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties, and at the same time, have the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

Two questions arise from this paradox. What is your faith anchored to? And, are you in the practice of accepting the most brutal facts you face today?

Neither question is for the faint of heart, but if there’s one thing reverse mortgage professionals like yourself have proven over the years is their resilience.

Consider what situations or circumstances you need to submit to and above all project your inner self from the temptation to give ourselves away give in completely.