The Country of Surprise: New questions to ask

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Understanding Unexpected Later Life Shifts

It’s one thing to talk about aging looking forward; quite another to view it from within that mature skin. In How Did I Get to Be 70 When I’m 35 Inside? 70-year-old Linda Douty offers a delightful “new paradigm” roadmap for conscious aging, focusing on the landscape of surprise in seven stages: Surprises of the Self, Body, Relationships, and the Sacred; to Surprising Challenges, Gifts, and Wisdom.

The more than fifty elders she interviewed pulled no punches, yet their honesty conveys humor and acceptance, even joy, as people embrace the freedom to finally express the totality of who they are, without apology or restraint.

Understanding Reverse Mortgage Clients

Since many reverse mortgage professionals may be closer to 35 than to 70, Douty’s book offers a useful peek inside your prospects’ minds.

I especially enjoyed her take on how, as we age, we tend to experience weight gain and memory loss — along with a shrewd way to ameliorate this change: “Our culture seems much more obsessed with what we feed our bodies than what we feed our minds. How many calories? How much fiber? But our minds take ‘bites’ from a huge buffet of offerings — violent movies, TV sitcoms, trashy novels, idle gossip — all junk food for the brain. To retain any measure of hope and optimism, we must become aware of our own complicity in this junk-food diet.”

Then there’s the difference between knowledge and wisdom. One senior gentleman told her with a grin, “Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”

To open a deeper dialogue with your reverse mortgage prospects, consider adapting one or more of Douty’s inquiries. The seniors you meet with will likely be happily surprised that their reverse mortgage professional is taking such a dedicated interest in their lives. Douty’s questions include:

1. What has surprised you most about aging?
2. What have you discovered about yourself that you didn’t know before?
3. How would you complete the sentence, “I’ve always wanted to …”
4. What has been your greatest challenge in growing older?
5. Your greatest joy?
6. How old do you feel inside?

Sooner or later, if we’re fortunate enough, we’ll all become residents in the country of surprise. This is your invitation to visit, and return with wisdom gained.

AARP Regulations – Have they gone too far?

That may be just what future reverse mortgage borrowers may need to do to satisfy federal regulators before getting the loan. AARP recently called for more ‘special protections’ to help prevent serious harm (full story here). What is puzzling is the mixed messages that often come from AARP regarding reverse mortgages; first endorsing and then later criticizing.

When it comes to fraud is our industry rife with it? AARP’s senior attorney cited high fees that ‘scammers’ can use to suck away people’s home equity. Really? Are we on the same page? HUD restructured the loan origination calculation for borrowers lowering fees dramatically from 2% of the homes appraised value some time ago not to mention the introduction of the HECM Saver last October. When it comes to fraud do we have any real evidence that shows a disproportionate problem with reverse mortgages versus traditional loans?

Certainly high fees were a black eye for reverse mortgages but that issue has long been settled by both HUD and the market with mandated loan origination reductions, lower costs to consumers due to the secondary market and new low cost products like the Saver. Are high fees the risk to borrowers exposing them to losing their home or is it a lack of education or responsibility of the borrower to meet the obligations of insurance and property taxes? I would venture to say it is the later, and steps have been taken to reduce that risk to both borrower and lenders alike.

Beyond mandatory counseling, duplicate warnings, disclosures and all caps ‘buyer beware’ statements in an application what additional protections really can be practically put in place? No one would disagree that consumers deserve sound product education and protections but in the end will they need to chew through barbed wire to get a reverse mortgage? What segment of borrowers could potentially be hurt the worst from regulations that treat the HECM as a toxic loan of last resort and what message does this send to our new segment of higher net worth borrowers who may be looking at a HECM for the first time?